Thursday, February 3, 2011

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

    Why does that question get harder and harder to answer as you approach high school graduation? We could answer it in a split second when we were little. Looking back, that was probably my favorite topic. (Next on the list was my birthday. What should we talk about? Oh! How about my birthday? That happened more often than it should have. I was a very self-centered child.)
    From age three to six there was never just one job that could satisfy me. I created this horrifyingly never-ending megajob and would tag on at least one more job each time I was asked what I wanted to be as an adult. At its peak it was something like a veterinarian-artist-nurse-firefighter-dancing-mommy. But, as I got older and more urbane I realized that one: it took about a half a minute to answer a simple question, so it might be time to cut down, and two: there is no possible way for a human to have so many occupations (unless you live in a small town-like me-and you volunteer for all of them). So my answer became "zookeeper". Obviously, this is much more sophisticated than my silly fantasies of holding six professions at once. I proudly held this title until around fifth grade when I began realizing that I loved to write. I've actually always enjoyed it- even when I was little. There was this series I wrote and illustrated when I was five. It was about a girl (strikingly similar to myself) and her everyday life and struggles. (Of course I didn't call it that, but that was what it was.) They were horrible, but I liked to write, so I wrote about what I knew... myself.... Well, I told you I was self-centered! So anyways, I was very certain that this was exactly what I would grow up to be one day and nobody could tell me otherwise.
    Up until last year.
    At my school, all ninth graders are required to take a careers class to "sort out their lives" and "plan ahead". Well, I object. After a confusing year filled with pointless quizzes and empty inspiring speeches, I've concluded that that class should only be an elective for juniors and seniors who are receiving letters from colleges and still don't have a clue what they want to go for. I didn't need that class and now it's messed up all my plans!
   So, now I'm two years away from graduating and I'm back to square one. No, actually I'm in the negative squares now, because I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I was in square one. I bet if I vacuumed out all of the crap crammed in my brain after sixteen years on this earth I'd have a new perspective on life. Too bad that's dangerous. I guess I didn't like the class because it made me second-guess my plans. Mr. Blank (we'll call him that to protect the innocent, although he's definitely guilty of screwing up my future! *melodramatic*) always stressed not to get into a career you will hate one day because it will make life miserable. I asked myself if being an author was what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life so many times that I started to doubt if that was what I actually wanted to do. Next time someone makes me question my goals (especially if they're good ones- not if they're illegal or anything) I'm going to ignore them and trust the Lord for what He wants me to do. He knows me better than anyone else anyways and his plans are always for my best interest. I know that's the only way I'm gonna figure this one out.

Happy Superbowl weekend to our fellow Americans! We like you no matter who you're rooting for, we just like you a little bit more if it's for the Packers. ; )


"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~Jeremiah 29:11

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