Sunday, January 23, 2011

Interview Number Two: The Other Half Of the Ninnymuggins

Breanna: May I interview you?

Maddie: Me?! Why would you want to interview me? Wait a second, I’ll call the Packers and tell them to postpone the game.

B: I’ll be right here.

M: *Get the ball! Run! Run! Okay, I’m back.

B: What are some of your aspirations?
M: Hmmm… let’s see I have to think about that… I would love to go splunking in Cave of Swallows. Also, I would love to be on Broadway someday!

B: I heard a rumor that you are the next Galinda of Wicked.

M: That rumor is correct, they called me yesterday and I signed the contract. They told me that I’d be perfect for the part.

B: I’ll be looking forward to seeing that! What is your favorite species of bird?

M: Blue macaw or maybe a bald eagle. I am actually also considering a career in ornithology… *sarcasm*

B: How many states have you been to?

M: Oh, let’s think…one…two….three…..four…..*ten years later* I think nineteen or twenty different states. Does landing in the airports count?

B: I always say that I’ve been to Ohio and Pennsylvania- I had a Philly cheese steak in the Philadelphia airport, That’s pretty legit- even though I’ve only landed in the airports of those states.

M: Okay then, twenty-one.

B: What is one of the weirdest things you have experienced in your life?

M: Having my appendix out on the way home from spring break…yeah, that was pretty weird.

B: How did that go for you?

M: Pretty good, it was one of the best children’s hospitals in the nation. I recognized the hospital from a show called Backyard Habitat or something like that. They were redoing gardens, and I recognized the balcony from the show. It was really cool. *We have the ball on the twenty. Gooo!. Go! This guy appeared out of nowhere, he was on the injured reserved list for most of the season, but then he just popped up out of nowhere!

B: (At this point I was frantically typing and holding up the interview.) Sorry about this.

M: No problem- Run Aaron run! Yes! He looks like a little squirrel running along on the side. It looks like they sped it up, but no. He’s  like a squirrel, or is that a chipmunk? A squipmunk?

B: (I hated to end this tangent.) What are some of the apps you have on your phone?

M: Funny you should ask, I happen to be on my phone right now. I won’t tell you all of the apps I have on here, but I have the Buddy the Elf soundboard app, my blogger app. If you look at my posts you’ll notice at the bottom it will say “This post has been posted by BloggerDroid something point something". I also have the YouTube app, a barcode scanner, um, I have Google Books, so I can read books on my phone. I have a Fake Call Me app, so whenever I’m in an awkward situation my phone will call me and it will say that the president is calling me so I can get out of that awkward situation.

B: Well, that sounds handy.

M: Get the bears! Get the bears! Thirty-eight, why do you keep getting penalized- One of my favorites is this Key Ring app. Whenever I’m at Barnes and Noble or something I can just use this app to get the barcode of my membership card up on my phone.

B: Ooooh, sweet!

M: I have Scanner Radio, which is a police scanner. It is legal as long as you don’t use it for evil purposes. I also have the United States Constitution app. It puts the Constitution on my phone and shows little bios about different things. It’s like a history lesson on your phone. Bailey, stop barking! She never barks, and all of a sudden, she’s barking her head off.

B: Oh, by the way, tell me about your dogs!

M: I have two dogs. One’s name is Daisy. She’s a teddy bear and she’s seven. She’s super smart- I’ve taught her all her tricks. Hehehe On the other hand we have Bailey, who is super dumb. She’s two, a golden retriever, and she smiles.

B: Creepy.

M: It’s a mix between a snarl and a smile. A snile. It’s really funny. I’m making a ton of my own words here: snile, squipmunk. I should make my own dictionary. Oh, wait, I’ll be right back.
*Abusive sounds directed at the TV in the background.*

M: Sorry, that was Justin Beiber on the phone; he wanted to know if I would buy his album and/or throw another water bottle at him.
(I see a recurring theme here. Sorry, Beibs.)

B: What are you going to do with your future?

M: That’s kind of the same as the “aspirations” question.

B: Actually, that was more of a bucket list question. I want to know what you want to do with your future now.

M: I have no idea, really. It changes daily. The other day, I wanted to be a football player. Hahaha Just kidding. Yesterday I wanted to be a spy, today I want to head of a big company, even though I don’t even know what public relations entails. Tomorrow I’ll probably want to be a baker again; I think I wanted to be a baker sometime last week.
Come on throw the ball! Throw the ball! AAAAH! Intercepted!

B: Wha-

M: WHOOOO!!!!! YEAHHHH!!! Good job number 37! What’s your name? Turn around so I can see your name. Let me see your name! Shields, you should get a raise. Not really, you already get paid millions to run up and down the field.

B: Anyways… what is your favorite ethnic food?

M: Does pork fried rice count? No joke it is the best thing. I could eat a quart of it. It’s from China Palace in downtown Green Bay; I am not getting paid to advertise. Wonderful.

B: Yum, gotta love Chinese buffets. Okay, last question. It's a really basic one: What’s your favorite animal?

M: I don’t really have one. Anything with fur or scales that I can turn into boots…PITA’s probably gonna come after me for saying that, but whatever.

B: Thank you for your time, kind ma’am!

M: No problem, the Packers were very understanding.

B: I heard you yelling at them, so I’m glad to hear that they weren’t too mad.

M: Well, they didn’t appreciate it, but sometimes they need to hear that kind of stuff. Now if you’ll excuse me, the game is done, and I have to go walk around the house singing “We Are the Champions”.

Go Pack! J

*The Packers/Bears game was going on in the background of our phone call, (regardless of Madeline’s request) and occasionally I heard muffled commentaries on the capabilities (or lack thereof) of the players. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

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